SPECIAL.

I have been a total mess lately.  I have felt like I've had the weight of the whole world on my shoulders since my husband has gone back to school, and it seems like everything possible has happened since then to just add more and more on me.  I know it could be way way worse.  I'm not trying to be a complainer.  But I've had a really hard time lately with Christian, and even just the anticipation of doctor's visits and paperwork, etc... it really stresses me out.  So I've been really nervous leading up to today, which was my first support group meeting for kids on the autism spectrum (he is not diagnosed as such, but demonstrates some of the traits, and I just thought maybe I would get some help there).  For one, I get really nervous around new people.  And the other thing is that I have spent quite awhile feeling pretty "normal" with our past obsession lasting longer than a year!  So when everything changed up after Christmas, I started feeling very unsettled and pressured.

I learned a lot today.  It was nice being someone who is largely ignorant of how these things work and what help is out there.  It was nice to just sit back and receive wisdom from some women who have been/are there.  I got some great suggestions.  And just being in a room (a small room) with some open, real faces... made me feel better about where we are and what I have to look forward to.  I feel a lot less stressed knowing nobody there was judging me for the things I said or how I've dealt with our issues.  It took a huge weight off of me.  I'm relieved to know that there are these other people out there who, while they may not have all the answers, can offer suggestions and even just compassion... It was really nice.

Here's some stuff I learned from the guest speaker, Kim Singleton, regarding Getting along with your IEP team... I can see lots of other ways to apply this info though!

Sugar (in words and snacks)
Power of your pen-- you can sign or not sign
Engage each person-- each person may feel differently than the collective group, but you don't know   until you ask
Child's needs 1st (school and family 2nd)
Idea toss-- make them think your great ideas are theirs!
Agree first, suggest second-- give them props for their professional standing and then ask gently or lead to draw out other options
Listen hardest to the hard stuff-- the stuff that makes you want to kill people or protect yourself may be the stuff that you really really need to hear...