Tiny.

I've been listening to a lot of Enter The Worship Circle stuff recently.  Here's the lyrics to the song I learned yesterday.  And then I'll tell you why it made such an impression on me.

TINY

with my tiny hands

with my tiny fingers

i will reach out hard to You

in this tiny room

with these tiny people

i will tell the truth to You

You are faithful You are strong

You are goodness i am wrong

You are larger more than anything

You're everything to me

with my tiny words in this tiny song

i will sing my heart to You

on my tiny knees with my tiny dreams

i will give my life to You

I am really struggling with some things.  I feel like my mind is on too many things.  One of the things that is overwhelming me right now is our son Christian.  Christian is... truthfully one of the neatest, most gifted and special kids out there.  He has to be.  Now in exchange for being so awesome, he has some sort of interesting qualities which can act as limitations if not directed properly... Ever since Christian was a baby, he has had special super sensory powers LoL.  I am being serious.  Not like Heroes or anything, but he does have "super hearing" (can hear things far away long before "normal" people) and is extremely sensitive to touch and visual stimuli as well.  He also has the gift of being able to intensely focus.  Like when he was two, he could not speak at all (we used sign language), but when prompted, he could point to every letter of the alphabet in books.  At 3, he could reproduce intricate drawings of robots (Wall-E in particular) from memory.  At 4 began his obsession with "bones" (skeletons), which when encouraged, turned into a fascination with how the human body works together... bones, muscles, joints, blood vessels... The kid loves documentaries and effortlessly draws bodies with all their parts... It's really something amazing to see.  Christian is so lovely.  The only problem is that we can never quite tell what is going to draw his focus.  We got a WII for Christmas.  We thought it would be fun and beneficial for his coordination to play the boxing game.  Unfortunately, it has turned into an unhealthy obsession for him that is just eating up every aspect of his (and our) life right now.  It's so frustrating.  Actually scary even.  And this is where I get to TINY.  I feel way too small to even comprehend what's going on with my son.  It's one of those things... like Cancer or MS or the autoimmune crap that I deal with... There is no human solution.  These things are not understood.  We are too little.  Things that we do to try to manage these big things oftentimes makes them worse or causes problems with other things.  It's like forced rest.  My worry and anxiety and striving actually does nothing.  Or maybe worse than nothing.  I have no choice but to realize how tiny I am and let the only one big enough to handle it take over.  If anyone feels the urge to pray for Christian and us right now, I would be very thankful.