How I Did This Week (12/31-1/3)

BI-LO
Total: $11.06
Savings: $7.61
My Cost: $3.45
Percentage of Savings: 69%

FOOD LION
Total: $85.74
Savings: $70.88
My Cost: $14.86
Percentage of Savings: 83%

INGLES
Total: $45.26
Savings: $25.29
My Cost: $19.97
Percentage of Savings: 56%

TARGET
Total: $34.26
Savings: $19.70
My Cost: $14.56
Percentage of Savings: 58%

Smile.ly—Be Heard. Be Happy.

Smile.ly—Be Heard. Be Happy.

Just wanted to share another great way to get freebies and be the first to try new products. Click on the link and sign up. They don't spam you, and your first mission right now is to try out a 50ct bottle of gummy vitamins which my kids are super excited about. You can also link to the Proctor and Gamble brandsaver site from there and get some great samples of new cleaning products. Just thought I'd share!

How I Did This Week... Sorta

So things have been insane with Christmas break happening and Allen working constantly, so I haven't really done any regular grocery shopping.  I did an impromptu Publix trip today which was very profitable, and I may hit CVS later because I can shop there for free now with my ECBs... but other than that, I may do a little here a little there throughout the week when I can.  It's really neat though that there's nothing that I really have to have right now in order to make it through the week.  That's a huge blessing.

As a side note:  My apologies to anyone who read my last blog post.  I wasn't feeling well and really should learn to just wallow in misery on my own instead of indulging in a public tirade.  Sorry.

So here it is!

PUBLIX (12/27)
Total: $92.06
Savings: $71.01
My Cost: $21.05
Percentage of Savings: 77%

CVS (12/27)
Total: $43.20
Savings: $41.75 (plus $5 ECBs to spend next week)
My Cost: $1.45
Percentage of Savings: 97%

Why am I writing?

There's really no point to me writing.  I'm afraid to open my Bible just now, which is what I really want (and need) to do, because if I do, the 2 remaining children awake will surely need me for something mid-verse.  I am in desperate need of a deserted island right about now.  Or an evening away.  Or a 5 minute shower by myself... without someone banging on the door or fighting in the background.  SIGH.  I know I'm whining.  I started getting sick last week.  I knew it was coming.  But I had so much to do.  Maybe it is really stress-induced.  Which makes me even less inclined to go back to the doctor.  I'm tired.  In a way that I can't even describe.  100% drained.  I really want everybody to be happy and get along.  But I don't know how to make that happen.  And my moodiness and lack of energy isn't helping any.  We made Christmas crafts today and now the house is trashed.  The kids fought.  And I yelled.  And I know I said I hate Christmas more than once.  I suck.  I remember Christmas being magical.  Why can't I do that for my kids? It really seems unfair.  I just can't keep up and I end up screwing everything up for everybody.  With the rest of Christmas "break" looming over my head, I am completely overwhelmed and exhausted.  I hate that I feel that way.  I want to be so different than I am.  Argh.

How I Did This Week

This is a "so-far" post... I still have to go to Publix tomorrow, but wanted to get a start on my post and sum up how I did today!  Got some great deals, including some freebies using shoptxt (mailed me some coupons for free stuff at Food Lion), 2 bottles of ALL laundry detergent for $0.99 a piece, free batteries and some nearly free John Freida shampoo/conditioner... amongst lots of other super steals.  I am really really excited because I am getting closer and closer to the $50 per week spending limit I would like to ultimately achieve in the coming weeks... And I am saving a much larger percentage as well, thereby actually getting more groceries, with much much less money.  I am also excited that I now have remaining ECBs and RRs to start my week off at Walgreens and CVS next week... with a potential for shopping with little/no out of pocket expense!  This is what I've been working up to this past month and I am so happy to see it coming to fruit!  It's been totally worth some long hours and much effort.  The process is getting simpler and because I have a surplus now of necessities, I can shop only for the extra wonderful deals that end up being free or nearly free... I didn't think it could be done... All the glory to God for putting me on hold where I am in life, introducing the needed resources and giving me the patience and courage to try new things and stick with something!  Thanks!


FOOD LION:
Total: $29.44
Savings: $27.44
My Cost: $2.20
Percentage of Savings: 93%


BI-LO:
Total: $15.31
Savings: $12.23
My Cost: $3.08
Percentage of Savings: 80%


CVS: (notice~ I actually MADE $8 shopping at CVS today!)
Total: $28.41
Savings: $23.68 (plus $13 in ECBs to use on my next trip)
My Cost: $4.73  
Percentage of Savings: 83%


CVS: (2nd trip!)--I had to add this... gotta love free shopping trips!  : )
Total: $34.21
Savings: $33.41 (plus $13 in ECBs AGAIN!)
My Cost: $0.80 (tax)
Percentage of Savings: 98%




WALGREENS: (with my earnings, it's like spending $9 for over $40 in merchandise!)
Total: $42.04
Savings: $28.60 (plus $4 in RRs to use on my next trip)
My Cost: $13.44
Percentage of Savings: 68%


INGLES:
Total: $44.22
Savings: $20.60
My Cost: $23.62
Percentage of Savings: 47%


PUBLIX:
Total: $130.99
Savings: $84.44
My Cost: $46.55
Percentage of Savings: 64%


TOTALS: (updated, including Publix and 2nd "free trip" to CVS)
Total: $324.62
Savings: $230.40
My Cost: $94.42
Percentage of Savings: 71%

A Different Kind of Resolution.

So now is the time of year where we start feeling bad about all the money we're spending so frivolously on Christmas presents we don't need, all the cookies we're eating in honor of having "holiday spirit," the busyness and time-crunching acrobatics we're performing in order to make our own way... And so we swear to these things called "resolutions."  We resolve to get rich (stop spending frivolously), get skinny (quit eating cookies and get up off our butts), and prioritize (stop running around like chickens with our heads cut off).  It's all out of guilt.  And it fails every time.  I mean seriously... if I had succeeded at keeping these resolutions last year, would I be pledging to lose the same 10 pounds this year?  Would I be swearing I'm going to get up at the butt crack of dawn every day and read my Bible?  If I had succeeded at last year's resolutions, I could just sit back and take it easy (laughing at everyone else) because obviously if out of sheer will power, I was able to accomplish really anything at all, I must be perfect.


I want to challenge you to make a different kind of resolution.  A resolution to start your year depending on the favor of God to make it through til next year.  And not just make it through, but accomplish something for Him.  Make a difference.  Be used.


I have a favorite way of making this kind of resolution.  Maybe it won't be for you.  But perhaps after the initial reluctance and excuses fade... perhaps you could consider joining me.  


It's called a Daniel fast.  (read the story of Daniel.  it's... well... it's in Daniel.  In the Bible.)


Hear me out.  This is not about rules and strict adherence to some sort of impossible expectation.  Remember, it's about starting your year off depending on God, not yourself or your circumstances.  You can modify it how you like.  I have done it many different ways.  One year, in addition to eating only vegetables and fruit, I cut out coffee (BAD IDEA).  Another year, was just no animal products.  Alot of people will just include plant based, plain foods and no alcohol.  Talk to God about it.  Get a plan and then depend on Him to see you through.  And during that time, really seek His will.  Seek out opportunities to serve.  Try out some new directions.  Step outside your comfort zone.  Be brave.  Remember you're not doing anything on your own.  You're learning to live in His strength.


My suggestion: make a list of things you are seeking God's will on.  Each morning (or evening, whatever works for you) after you spend some time in your Bible and do your regular prayer or journaling or whatever you normally do... cover these topics with God.  You don't have to whine and fuss and be frantic.  You're laying everything down and giving it over to him.  By doing the fast, you're giving him control of these situations and waiting to see how he will handle them. 


It's 21 days.  I've read that a habit takes 21 days to secure.  So this is a good time frame to learn dependence and followership (no, I don't think that is an actual word, but that's ok).  We are so used to leading.  Sometimes it takes a deliberate act of the will to take that step back and acknowledge that No, I am not God and I'm not going to try to do His job.  I start on the 1st of January and go to the 21st.  But you could start on the 2nd if you have some huge family function to go to or whatever.  


What have you got to lose right?  I think the Daniel fast is one of the best disciplines for going deeper in your relationship with God... Why not give it a shot?


In a few days, I'll be posting a list of some of the things I'll be seeking God for this new year.  Maybe you will join me in some of them.  But be thinking about your own list in the coming days.  This is a resolution worth making!

E.T.A.  If you decide this is how you want to start your new year, let me know!  That way, I can be praying for you too, that God will use that time to speak to you loud and clear.  Thanks for reading.

2 Peter 1:

^5-9So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can't see what's right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.
 ^10-11So, friends, confirm God's invitation to you, his choice of you. Don't put it off; do it now. Do this, and you'll have your life on a firm footing, the streets paved and the way wide open into the eternal kingdom of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Haven~ How You Can Help

I just got back from visiting The Haven Homeless Shelter's new home!  It is amazing... They can now house 35 people, 3 months at a time... They house them, feed them 3 meals a day and teach practical classes on job skills, life skills... everything from how to interview to grocery shopping on a budget.  There are some really wonderful people living and working there.  People who have a lot to offer our community.  And it is so exciting to get to be a small part of what is going on there, and the transformations that are being made.


For those of you from Hub City Church and elsewhere who so generously gave the Gift of Toys this last week... THANK YOU!  It was a huge gift and greatly appreciated.  How beautiful to give above NEED this time of year.  The kids at The Haven are going to be super blessed this Christmas.


Now as you know, The Haven has a new home, more rooms, and therefore more potential to give a home to families in Spartanburg without a place to call their own.  And just in time for the cold winter weather to set in.  HOWEVER in order to be able to do that, there are some needs that must be met quickly or some rooms will be open and available, but empty because of a few technicalities.  Here is a list of needs.  If you have any of these items and are not using them, or if you feel led and are able to purchase them used or new... Now is the time :-)  And again... If you don't have the time to shop, I would be happy to shop for you if you prefer to donate money.


HOUSEHOLD GOODS
*2 Dressers
*2 twin bed frames OR 1 queen frame (to put 2 twin mattresses on)
*1 set of bunk beds and mattresses
*Bookcases
*Shelving (they have linens stacked on the floor right now)
*Cabinets (this is for extra pantry use as there is less main floor storage at this house... The large Rubbermaid type cabinets would be excellent!)
*Clothes racks (they now have a storage building in the back where they accept donations, and would like to hang clothing donations on racks so the residents can more easily do their "shopping" there)


FOOD (while they will eventually be eligible for a food grant through the state, this is going to take some time and probably training to keep up with the paperwork, so they continue to need donations of food, especially perishables at the moment)
*Eggs
*Milk (5-7 gallons per day)
*Bread


Thanks for whatever you can do!  Spread the word.  Let's get The Haven through this winter as a community who cares about the people who are ultimately going to make Spartanburg a better place to live.


P.S.  I am so so excited!  I am getting my own class!  Like an actual calendar of topics on a rotating schedule!  You just can have no idea how pumped up about this I am... ALSO... I am getting a guitar student after Christmas... a PAYING one!  Woohoo!  


God is awesome.  I can't even begin to understand how He works.  I am just amazed and super grateful.

My New Job.

I almost cried at Publix today.  Yes, really.  And no I didn't get run down by a blue hair with a runaway shopping cart.  


I bought $200 worth of groceries for less than $60.


Do you realize that is a 75% savings?


They actually paid me to buy a few items.  


I almost cried.  


For years I have questioned and complained and fought and whined... I have asked God why he put me here with no purpose... If I screwed it all up (my intended purpose) by making all the wrong decisions... If the rest of my life is just one big consequence of my own willful choices... And at different times in my life I have tried SO HARD to be what I thought I was supposed to be... really only to be beat down and stepped on and disrespected because of it...  


The last year or so since we've been with Hub City Church, we've learned a lot.  A lot about a lot of things.  But mostly about how to live.  How to be a good friend.  How to grow our marriage.  How to seek Jesus.  


I can't write about it all-- and maybe this wont make any sense.  But one of the things that was a hard learn for us was "tithing."  I still don't like the word "tithe."  And I still could argue certain points.  But here's the thing.  We decided to listen, learn and act on what we heard awhile back regarding giving the first to God and recognizing all that we have as His.  We got serious about giving monetarily FIRST before anything else, even bills or groceries.  And in doing that we told God that we really wanted and needed His input into our financial situation because as far as we could tell, it was really a no-win situation.  Even without giving, there was not enough.


These next few years are going to be tough.  Allen going back to school and taking a pay cut to be able to do so... not an easy decision.  But I feel God's hand on us.  I know that we're with Him.  (I started to say He's with us... but that doesn't seem right somehow) 


I'm just very very grateful.  I'm thankful for his provision and purpose and opportunities to grow and learn.  I'm thankful for dreams of impossibility for the future because of what I'm learning... dreams for our family and for our church and for our community.  I'm actually thankful that I can be a little psycho- overboard with things... a little too passionate... I'm starting to see where God might be thinking of going with that.  I like my new job... Wife and Mom.  And even though I wish I had realized what I signed up for a bit sooner... I'm thankful for the enormous patience and grace that God has shown me.


I read this today and thought it was appropriate:


James 1:25But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.

How I Did This Week-pending

Well this week has been a little helter skelter.  With Christmas coming, my spending has been somewhat erratic, working in a few things here and there with my groceries.  Plus this week I tackled Walgreens for the first time, so that was a bit of a learning experience as well, though a great pay-off.  I have yet to go to Publix, but I will try to update on Monday, as it is going to be a great trip this week!


A word about WALGREENS:
All those receipts and RRs and coupons can get a little overwhelming for someone like (as unorganized as) me... So, I do not actually have all of my receipts at the moment.  I'm just going to report on the basics and you'll get the idea.  The reason I spent the last of my RR's instead of rolling them to next week was that I had some items to buy that are not usually on my list (paper plates, aluminum foil, etc) and I hated to add that cost at the grocery and pay out of pocket.


I started out paying $25 for my order because they are running a promotion right now that gives you $5 RRs when you spend more than $25.  I had more than $25 in my cart and I knew I was going to get tons of RRs back, so it was worth it.  


So, I spent $25 and got $29 BACK IN RR's!
I spent $27 in my next transaction (paid with RR's) and got back $6 more RR's.
I went back in after my grocery shopping and picked up those extra items, spending the $8 RR's.


Now... technically that would be $60 worth of items for $25.
BUT.  You have to consider that I also used coupons, actually SAVING nearly $18 in my first purchase alone!


So in reality I probably walked out of there with about $100 worth of items for $25.  I don't think that's too bad.  My goal though is to keep the RR's rolling from one week to the next so that I have virtually no out of pocket (aside from tax).  I'm going to give myself a little time to get the hang of this!
75% savings!


BI-LO:
I just got a few things here... And I got a little mad when the lady ahead of me got the last of the Bounty (which would have been $.19 for me!) and I couldn't find the Wet Ones wipes that would have been FREE.  But I still did alright.


Before coupons or deals: $23.12
Savings: $16.30
My cost: $6.82
70% savings!


FOOD LION:
I really do not like Food Lion.  But I did get some good deals.  You really have to watch them though.  They miss coupons (their reader seems to not be very touchy) and they will not take coupons from competitors.  But I got some deals on things we needed (coffee, peanut butter, cheerios) and even got 2 FREE M5 razors (3 cartridges each) with overage!

E.T.A: I got home and opened one of the razors... and found a $3 off coupon for cartridges... which are also... yep, you guessed it!  On sale for $2.50 at Food Lion!  Going back this afternoon to get 2 free cartridge refill packs!


Before coupons or deals: $94
Savings: $68
My cost: $26
That's 72% savings!


INGLES:
Ok.  I sucked at Ingles apparently... I think it's because I bought wine, some chili and black bean fixings... stuff I had no coupons for and no sales.  I absolutely hate it when I spend $40 in one place now.  


Before coupons or deals: $57.86
Savings: $16.22
My cost: $41.64
28% savings... BLAH


TOTALS
Before coupons or deals: $274.98
Savings: $174.52
My cost: $99.46
63% Savings!-- THIS SHOULD BE EVEN BETTER AFTER I HIT PUBLIX MONDAY (to see how fruitful Publix was, check out my post My New Job.)

Do Unto Others

I had a very very good conversation yesterday with someone struggling with the whole community/interdependence aspect of Christianity.  This is an issue that I understand intensely.  It is so so difficult to trust people and let down defenses when, let's be real, you have to know that they are going to let you down, hurt you, reject you... at some point anyway.  That's life.  I mean if I'm really honest, I have to admit I have done that/will do that to my friends too.  We're people and we fail. 


BUT


If you choose to keep those walls up.  If you make the decision to not let others in.  If you determine to hold your gifts and talents and efforts close to you, and not reach out in Christian community to the rest of the body of Jesus... You're not just depriving yourself of the friendship you think you don't want anyway... You're not just "showing them" that you can do fine on your own and that you don't need anybody... There is a bigger issue here.


If you make the decision to live outside of Christian community, the world has no chance of seeing the full picture of who Jesus is.


Let me say that again in a different way.  


If you live your life in self-protection, you prevent The Church from fulfilling our most important mission.  


We are all familiar with the "golden rule": Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


I think a lot of times, we are so completely obsessed with the "as you would have them do unto you" part, that we forget about the whole point of the scripture... The "do unto others" part.


Do you want to be accepted?  Accept others.
Do you want to be praised?  Encourage others.
Do you want to be shown tenderness?  Be affectionate to others.
Do you want to be respected?  Be respectful to others.


This is not rocket science folks.  And some of these are easier than others.  What happens when you get to things like:


Do you want people to be honest with you?
Do you want to be put first?
Do you appreciate generosity?
How about authenticity?


Yeah.  That's tough.  


I think the challenge here is this:  When you start feeling slighted or like something is unjust or that you're being treated unfairly (not doing unto you what you would like them to do unto you!)... Ask yourself "Am I treating them the way I want to be treated?"  Am I being the kind of friend I so desperately want and need in my own life?  Yes this is kind of Kindergarten Christianity... but don't we need to be reminded?  I know I do!

How I Did This Week

So I was a little disappointed when Food Lion wouldn't take one of my coupons, and another one I didn't look at correctly so couldn't use it.  But overall a very good week!  Here's the break-down:

Publix:
Total: $56.92
Savings: $40.74
My cost: $16.18

Food Lion:
Total: $30.01
Savings: $13.36
My cost: $16.65

Bi-Lo:
Total: $83.09
Savings: $41.69
My cost: $41.40

Ingles:
Total: $91.88
Savings: $51.35
My cost: $40.53

Total grocery worth: $261.90
My cost: $114.76

That's a total savings of $147.14 or 56%
Not too shabby : )

A great post.

Read this today and my heart broke.
  Failing Forward

We need to ask those questions constantly.
What is God asking you to do? What is he pressing on your heart to change? Will you do it? Will you go? Will you give?

Myers-Briggs, Bipolar Edition?

I was reading our pastor's blog today (jonathaneverette.com) and read an article he linked to about introverted leaders.  It's funny... I've always sort of thought myself an introvert, though those silly tests are one thing today and another tomorrow... Maybe I need the bipolar edition?  I like to do quiet things... reading, writing, etc... and I like to *think* about things at length and imagine things... BUT... I'm not a very quiet person.  I talk loudly when I get excited which is often.  I laugh loudly.  I like attention when I'm with people I'm comfortable with.  I love to have long conversations with people.  But I don't like crowds.  Big groups of people wear me out and I have horrible stage fright, though I love love love performing when all is said and done (I love the rush for me, and I really enjoy seeing people respond)  And I love to have one or two extra people in the house almost constantly.  It's not really the busyness though or the noise that is attractive to me.  I like connecting with people.  I like getting to know people better, and probably somewhat narcissistically want people to know me better too.  Hmm.  Perhaps I am a repressed extrovert?  Or an outgoing introvert?  Ha.  Oh well.  I guess I've always had a hard time fitting in!

One thing I have noticed though.  Over this last year or so.  I have become more concerned with loving people than with how I am perceived.  I think that's been a good thing.  I guess I need to be careful what/who I let define me.

On being stupid, but at peace.

Have you ever heard the phrase "kill you with kindness"?  The Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English defines the phrase this way:  to be too kind to someone, in a way that actually harms them.


Now I wouldn't say that reading the book of Romans is actually harming me... But it has been painful without a doubt.  It's not that I haven't read it before or anything... I've probably read it dozens of times over the years, but it's been longer than a year I think, and a lot has changed in a year.  I'm not sure if I've ever read Romans for more than theology... rules... which is hilarious if you actually read it, because the point is that God gave us this gift... this free gift of being set right in relationship with Him and being able to be part of what He's doing... and that there's no reason for us to think that all our striving and worrying and control could possibly free us up like that!  So to read Romans, looking for rules... is well... it's pretty stupid.  


So I read chapters 1-4 yesterday... after skipping out on my quiet time 6 DAYS IN A ROW, no less.  And I almost couldn't finish reading it.  I mean, I recently read a lot out of the gospels, you know where Jesus was actually tortured and killed for my sins... and of course that touched me, affected me... But I don't know... I guess it's that Romans really takes that and then explains what exactly was accomplished through that... how things are different now... I guess more of God's heart behind the whole story.  And it just really got to me.  


Here's one passage that I had to stop at...
Romans 3:28
What we've learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.

Gosh, I don't know how that one little verse can just set my head spinning like it does... I mean, seriously... I believe that... But I do not understand it.  I don't.  It's like on the one point, you have this unbelievably good, loving, tender, faithful, doting even... Father... who has given us such a gift... taken all the unrest out of life for us... for free.  But then at the same time, you have this... I don't know... mysterious, big, amazing, awe-inspiring, frightening even... Creator of the Universe.  I don't get it!

What's really super funny to me though, is that I actually feel this weird peace about not getting it.  I guess I've probably felt this way for awhile now... but I didn't realize it until I read these crazy words in Romans.

I ask "why?" a lot.  I do.  I actually ask lots of questions... not just "why?"  It drives me crazy when my kids do it, but I can't seem to help myself.  I just want to know!  I can't stand when something doesn't make sense to me... or worse, if someone is holding out on me (thereby knowing something I don't)--- drives me nuts!  I actually wrote in my journal yesterday "WHY???" in super huge print.  It doesn't make sense that He would do something like this for someone like me... who can just walk around ignoring Him for days on end, and then come crawling back like a blubbering idiot when I realize what I should have always known about Him... what He shows me of Himself every day?  I mean, what a doofus... seriously.

But I really think it's like when a friend gives you a present for no particular reason.  It's not your birthday.  It's not Christmas.  They don't owe you anything.  You're not getting the present because you did anything spectacular.  And you ask "Why?" (or at least I do!) And there's no answer... I think really the answer is that they just are who they are.  They're giving you the gift not because of what you've done or who you are... Their generosity comes out of who they are.

I really think that's what I got from reading these 4 chapters from Romans... There is no answer to the "Why?"  Well there is, but it's not satisfying in the way that it would be if the answer was because we are just wonderful people and we did something great to deserve this fabulous gift... There is this dependence... this trust... that comes out of knowing that this unfathomable gift was actually free... and the reason is just that the giver is who He is.  That is where the rest (peace) comes from.

On being one of the pretty girls.

So.  As you can probably figure, this post is directed primarily at any women who have accidentally stumbled upon my blog.  If you're a man, I'm not going to divulge any too-telling info or anything, but it will have to be up to God to work anything in you regarding this content.  That's not really what I'm after this morning.


I mentioned several weeks ago in a post about favor, that I had struggled as a teenager with an eating disorder.  God brought it up again, after years of not thinking about it, during a fast... sort of ironic dontcha think?  This is really not a topic I like to revisit.  I don't enjoy thinking about those times, but it has come up with a fair amount of regularity lately, so I wanted to just touch on a few things.  


I spent my childhood as an outcast.  I was a chubby kid.  I had no fashion sense.  I was sort of brainy.  I had acne and was so painfully shy that I was in pretty much a perpetual state of blushing.  You've seen Napoleon Dynamite?  I was the girl with the side ponytail, selling keychains and making dresses with puffy sleeves.  I wasn't necessarily "unliked," but I was definitely ignored and rejected.  I always wanted to be one of the pretty girls.  You know the ones.  Those girls that traveled in packs, wore makeup and bras before everybody else... snickered in the hall about boys and had slumber parties on the weekends.  No matter what I did... what clothes I wore or what music I listened to... Underneath, I was still me and I guess that showed.  And that was never enough.  I gave up trying after awhile, and even brazenly rebelled by ultimately becoming what I perceived to be the exact opposite of those pretty girls and everything they stood for, but that feeling of wanting to be something I'm not stuck with me for a long time.  


So why bring this all up now right?  I mean, does it really matter anyway?  We all have junk we've had to deal with.  Everyone has felt rejected, hurt, ignored at some point in their lives.  There's really nothing special about my experience.  Well, that's not exactly true.  All that crap I went through is not what makes me different.  But the fact that I am an overcomer of all that stuff is.  And more importantly, that I have overcome by rejecting the world's opinion of me and really even my opinion of me, and embracing my Father's opinion, knowledge really, of me... That's what makes me different and special... I can say with absolute certainty that He is really the only one who has ever really understood me.  


He knew I was going to need the most extravagant grace and friendship and acceptance to be able to leave my rules-based, legalistic, control-freak, critical, wounded, hurting, broken (the list goes on and on- maybe you can relate) SELF behind and become the person He had planned for me to be.  It has not been easy.  It's been (and will continue to be) an everyday, every decision thing... to decide to line my will up with His... to show myself grace, the way He would/does... I screw up.  I backslide.  I get into some of my old self-loathing patterns from time to time.  But I can't ever really go back now.  I have to trust that He knows what He's doing with me, even when I can't see it.  Besides, you know, He has made me one of "the pretty girls..." After all this time, in my middle age, in my mommy-of-four body, with sickness and scars... I don't wonder anymore if I'm beautiful... if I'm loved... if I'm accepted... How can I feel rejected or not good enough, knowing how The King of the Universe feels about me?  


So you're dying to know what He thinks of me right? lol.  I'm not bragging... Well I am, but not about anything you can't have or experience too.  Women... especially married women... I challenge you to literally take every thought captive in obedience to Jesus... Catch each negative, self-hating thought before you let yourself bring it to fruit.  Remember who made you.  Think about why He loves you.  Don't slight your husband or your God by being down on yourself.  They both think you're beautiful.


Here's what the "pretty girls" think of themselves:

• I am a child of God.  But to all who have received him--those who believe in his name--he has given the right to become God's children … (John 1:12).

• I am a branch of the true vine, and a conduit of Christ’s life.  I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me--and I in him--bears much fruit, because apart from me you can accomplish nothing (John 15:1, 5).

• I am a friend of Jesus.  I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father (John 15:15).

• I have been justified and redeemed.  But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:24).

• My old self was crucified with Christ, and I am no longer a slave to sin.  We know that our old man was crucified with him so that the body of sin would no longer dominate us, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin (Romans 6:6).

• I will not be condemned by God.  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

• I have been set free from the law of sin and death.  For the law of the life-giving Spirit in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).

• As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ.  And if children, then heirs (namely, heirs of God and also fellow heirs with Christ)--if indeed we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him (Romans 8:17).

• I have been accepted by Christ.  Receive one another, then, just as Christ also received you, to God's glory (Romans 15:7).

• I have been called to be a saint.  … To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, and called to be saints, with all those in every place who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours (1 Corinthians 1:2). (See also Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, and Colossians 1:2.)

• In Christ Jesus, I have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.  He is the reason you have a relationship with Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption … (1 Corinthians 1:30).

• My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me.  Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you (1 Corinthians 6:19)?

• I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him.  But the one united with the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17).

• God leads me in the triumph and knowledge of Christ.  But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and who makes known through us the fragrance that consists of the knowledge of him in every place (2 Corinthians 2:14).

• The hardening of my mind has been removed in Christ.  But their minds were closed. For to this very day, the same veil remains when they hear the old covenant read./netbible2/index.php?header=&book=2co&chapter=3 It has not been removed because only in Christ is it taken away (2 Corinthians 3:14).

• I am a new creature in Christ.  So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away--look, what is new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17)!

• I have become the righteousness of God in Christ.  God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we would become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).

• I have been made one with all who are in Christ Jesus.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female--for all of you are one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28).

• I am no longer a slave, but a child and an heir.  So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God (Galatians 4:7).

• I have been set free in Christ.  For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1).

• I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.  Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ (Ephesians 1:3).

• I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God.  For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love (Ephesians 1:4).

• I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace (Ephesians 1:7).

• I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance.  In Christ we too have been claimed as God's own possession, since we were predestined according to the one purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to the counsel of his will (Ephesians 1:11).

• I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.  And when you heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation)--when you believed in Christ--you were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13).

• Because of God’s mercy and love, I have been made alive with Christ.  But God, being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, even though we were dead in transgressions, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you are saved (Ephesians 2:4-5)!

• I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ.  … And he raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus … (Ephesians 2:6).

• I am God’s workmanship created to produce good works.  For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them (Ephesians 2:10).

• I have been brought near to God by the blood of Christ.  But now in Christ Jesus you who used to be far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13).

• I am a member of Christ’s body and a partaker of His promise.  … The Gentiles are fellow heirs, fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 3:6). (See also Ephesians 5:30.)

• I have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ.  … In whom we have boldness and confident access to God because of Christ's faithfulness (Ephesians 3:12).

• My new self is righteous and holy.  … Put on the new man who has been created in God's image--in righteousness and holiness that comes from truth (Ephesians 4:24).

• I was formerly darkness, but now I am light in the Lord.  … For you were at one time darkness, but now you are/netbible2/index.php?header=&book=eph&chapter=5light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light (Ephesians 5:8).

• I am a citizen of heaven.  But our citizenship is in heaven--and we also await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ … (Philippians 3:20).

• The peace of God guards my heart and mind.  And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

• God supplies all my needs.  And my God will supply your every need according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

• I have been made complete in Christ.  … You have been filled in him, who is the head over every ruler and authority (Colossians 2:10).

• I have been raised up with Christ.  Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God (Colossians 3:1).

• My life is hidden with Christ in God.  … For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

• Christ is my life, and I will be revealed with Him in glory.  When Christ (who is your life) appears, then you too will be revealed in glory with him (Colossians 3:4).

• I have been chosen of God, and I am holy and beloved.  Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience … (Colossians 3:12).

• God loves me and has chosen me.  We know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you … (1 Thessalonians 1:4).

How I Did This Week

Publix:
Before sales and coupons: $54
My cost: $14.48
Savings: $39.52

Bi-Lo:
Before sales and coupons: $103.85
My cost: $58.93
Savings: $44.92

Ingles: (and this included beer and pizza, so my savings ratio would've been better had I not splurged a bit!)
Before sales and coupons: $47.96
My cost: $35.45
Savings: $12.51

Total:
Before sales and coupons: $205.81
My cost: $108.86
Savings: $96.95

I'd like to add that this is only my second week playing this "coupon game."  I've put in probably about 3 hours this last week to prepare and then some time racing around from store to store.  I have not tackled the drugstore deals yet... I am a little intimidated by all their different rules and cards and such.  But I'll get brave here in the next week or so and jump on that one too and see how much more I can save.  It has been exhilarating to fill my cart up (something I haven't been able to do in awhile) and get to the checkout and have money left over.  I am actually starting to build a small stockpile of key products, which I have not been able to do in years... I have been so used to shopping week to week for the exact items in the exact quantity that we'll be needing that week... It's strange to know that I have extra olive oil, paper towels, spaghetti sauce and pasta... just sitting there in the cabinet... crazy!  This southernsavers.com site (and the time and effort I have put into it) has eased some tension around here lately and I am so so grateful for that.  I even had a really nice comment from my husband which included a verse or two from the dreaded Proverbs 31 (you know ladies, the woman we love to hate!).  Anyway.  I feel good.  *SMILE*

Finding Myself.

I am praying something scary.  I have asked God to give me more opportunity to serve others... more opportunity for self-sacrifice.  I know what happens when you pray for this kind of stuff... He answers it with a "yes" because that's who He is.  But I can't be content to just stay.  I need to stretch.  I need to keep growing.

I read this passage this morning:

Matthew 16
^24-26Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?

I am not really a follower kind of person.  I think my initial shyness sometimes gives the wrong impression.  I can be a fierce competitor and a strong leader.  But I try and push that down a lot of times, because it doesn't always bring out the best in me.  I know I can't go wrong if I lead the way Jesus did though.  As one who serves.  I know I can lead that way and not misrepresent Him.  So that's why the scary prayer this morning!

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

Read this this morning... Great article...

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

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Faithful.

Faithful ~ Enter the Worship Circle


I WANT TO SING YOU A LOVE SONG, YOU ARE THE THIEF OF MY HEART
RHYTHM AND RHYME TRY TO DESCRIBE IT
NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY...I CAN'T HIDE IT

FAITHFUL, YOU ARE FAITHFUL
I HAVE FOUND NOTHING BUT GOOD IN YOUR HEART
LOVING, YOU ARE LOVING
I AM IN LOVE WITH THE WAY THAT YOU ARE
THANKFUL, I AM THANKFUL
I HAD BEEN RUNNING AWAY ON MY OWN
AND THEN YOU FOUND ME, OH HOW YOU LOVE ME
I KNOW YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE, LEAVE ME ALONE

I WANT TO SING YOU A LOVE SONG, FOR YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
RHYTHM AND RHYME TRY TO EXPLAIN IT
NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, I CAN'T CONTAIN IT

Great song... That's what I'm choosing to focus on today... That's enough.

Your grace is enough.

  2 Corinthians (Amplified)
 ⁹But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and ^[b]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may ^[c]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
    ¹⁰So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [^[d]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful ^[e]in divine strength).


I do not share Paul's thankfulness for infirmity.  I don't.  I have a really really difficult time seeing through sickness.  But I really really want to.  I'm not even sure what that would look like.    But if God says His grace is enough, then I guess it must be enough.  I suppose my prayer ought to be that my heart change so I can see it through His eyes.  If His strength and power are evident through my weakness... ultimately it's worth it.  I just wish I could understand.

A Far Better Way.

I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 the other day.  I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to go autopilot with passages like "the love chapter."  Now I can't quote the whole thing verbatim or anything, but I could at least come close.  I've read/heard it a few times!  But since I committed to reading The Message Bible a couple years ago (to keep me focused on the point, and not taken away with the details) I think this was the first time I've really spent any time in this passage. And it really got me thinking.  Paul leads into this chapter with, "But now I want to lay out a far better way for you."  What he has just finished talking about is how before our life in Christ began, we lived separately and dependent only on ourselves, but that the life of The Church was to be found in the putting of all the parts together to make one body, the Body of Jesus, His expression on Earth, a full picture of who He is.  So Paul is saying rather than competing to be the best part, here is a far better way...

He goes on to talk about love.  Here is a chunk of that:

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.  

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.


He wraps up the whole passage and leads into the next chapter with the words:
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:  Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.  And the best of the three is love.  Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it---because it does.


I noticed something this weekend.  It is precisely when I do not exhibit these love traits that God says, "Here, let me show you how it's done..."  When I have decided in my heart not to "put up with anything" or to "give up" or to "look back..."  That's when He reminds me what "extravagant love" is.  And that's when I realize once again that I have no chance of really fleshing out that kind of love without "trusting steadily in God" and "hoping unswervingly."  It's really just ridiculously amazing and wonderfully impossible the dependence that our Father calls for from us... on each other and on Him.  It just can't be done.  And yet it is.  I think that must be one of those things "so supernatural in and through us that only He can get the credit."(something I've been praying every day for months now for Hub City).

So here's the challenge.  Try it once.  Love somebody extravagantly this week.  And do it with trust and hope foremost in your mind, even when it doesn't make sense.  Your life actually depends on it.  It's an addiction you'll never regret.  Not when you realize you can never outdo your Father's love for you.