I'm Not Ready.

I'm reading this book.  It's called A Million Miles in a Thousand Days by Donald Miller.  I don't want it to end.  I feel like this guy knows me.  Like he could be my best friend.  I rarely, if ever, feel understood.  But this guy, he "gets" me.  It just seems unfair that the book should end.

Here is an excerpt:

I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgement.  We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage.  And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.

I'll tell you something.  I am not ready to read this book.  I'm just not.  I'm not brave and I'm not interesting enough or strong enough to really nail the climax (you know, the part where the hero overcomes) in my story.  I'm not.  But I'll tell you something else.  I am desperately weary of being a weak, tired victim in a story written by circumstances.  That's the kind of movie you walk out on, the kind of book you put down because you just can't quite find the plot.  I am stubborn and willful, always have been.  Two characteristics that are not at all endearing when used to resist change or Wisdom.  But they can sure come in handy when telling Fear and Rejection to piss off.  So whether I'm ready or not, my mind is made up.  I'm writing a better story for me and for my family.  I'm following the road God has mapped out for me (Psalm 1:6).