Biting my Tongue

Ok.  I have 0 authority to write on the subject of tongue biting... unless you count the times that I have *actually* bitten my tongue... you know, eating like an animal at the trough or something...


No, I'm talking about a subject I know little to nothing about... or maybe I *know* a bit about it, but I'm not very good at acting on what I know...


The Bible has lots to say about biting (holding) one's tongue:  Proverbs 15:1 a sharp tongue, Proverbs 19:11 smart people hold their tongues, Proverbs 21:23 watch your words, Proverbs 25:23 gossip-not cool... reading through Proverbs you start wondering, gosh does anything nice or sweet or good ever come from this tiny organ we cause so much evil and destruction with?


Some people just seem naturally good at not saying everything that pops into their brains.  I can't stand those people... Just like that Proverbs 31 woman... don't like her... at all.  Ok, not really, but I am really jealous and wonder if it really does come naturally or if it's something that most people have worked at all their lives and I'm just getting a late start?  It seems like I just have to say something!  Especially if someone is being rude or nasty or judgmental toward me (or I perceive that they are)... Wow, it's amazing how fast I bite back with something hurtful or sarcastic.  I mean, the words are just out before I even have a chance to think about what I'm going to say... Not good.


Why the heck I'm even writing about this, I have no idea.  Except that I'm working through some schtick right now.  Alot of things I've been pretending not to hear for awhile now.  I'm thinking it may just be easier to do what God says, even though it's hard, instead of dealing with the consequences of ignoring Him on this point and that point or on this minor issue or just this once over here... until pretty soon you think... What does His voice sound like again?  Seems like it's been awhile... And I've been thinking especially what living like Jesus actually means... what that looks like... and I'm thinking I'm fairly certain it doesn't involve tearing others down, being a know-it-all, or always getting in the last word.


So what now?


???


I'm just making time to read my Bible every day.  Reflecting on what God might be saying to me through His Word.  Asking Him to make Himself known to me.  And trusting that with time, I'll feel that closeness again.  That the relationship won't feel so forced.  Or so distant.  And I'm thinking that maybe through this process, I'll become a little more consistent, a little more reliable, and maybe He will trust me with more.  I think I want that.